Friends=Nothing ( I Guess ).

im glad that i can see who my friends are and shit. i guess at first im always nervous to let people know who i really am. i dont want people to get to know me because i cant trust them. when i thought it was all good to finally try it, everything was great- for a lil. now, i dont talk to anyone. noone tries to get in touch with me. noone tries to contact me. its like noone cares. i know everyone has their own lives, and own set of problems, but ive always tried to be there for them. i admit ive fucked up a lot in the past. maybe i was sometimes busy, maybe i sometimes just didnt feel like dealing with it. but at some point i came through. maybe i wasnt there for some people like they wanted me to be. but i tried. it kinda makes me wonder though. i dont want pity, i dont want people to feel sorry for me. i just want them to care. here i am. my life keeps getting worse and worse. the cops are always fuckin with me. i may or may not have a warrant for my arrest. im in and out of the cold winter nights because i technically have nowhere to live. i had a job but my circumstances didnt allow me to keep it. my own mother hasnt tried to call me in over two months. my own brother turned against me. ( twice within a month.) people "i once knew" disappeared. i have nothing. i have noone. id rather just fuckin die. if i knew what was on the other side of death i might already be there. thanks for caring everyone. im glad to know i have yall to talk to. i guess i know who my friends are. everyone else is just out to get me. maybe ill go turn myself in to the police now. yay. life is fuckin great.