She Was My Love.

She Was My Love.

Apasado un año y estoy recordando, when she use to be by my side
La primera vez que nos besamos, and the first time that she was mine
Mi corazon se esta aogando, thinking of all the things we went through
Era el dia de tu cumpleaños, solo pensaba en comprarte un regalo
Pero recibi esa triste noticia, that my love had past away

Dios mio dime porque te la llevaste
She was my love, she was my everything
Daria todo por estar a su lado, and to kiss her at least once again

Dios mio dime porque te la llevaste
She was my love, she was my everything
Daria todo por estar a su lado, and to hear her voice at least
once again

Aqui estoy a tu lado, nunca me e hido yo no te eh abandonado
Te amare locamente, yo estoy contigo y lo estare para siempre
Ya me vez, tocame, siente mi cuerpo otra vez como ayer
Amame siega mente, demuestrame que tu amor es para siempre

Abri mis ojos y una lagrima broto
Al darme cuenta que fue algo que soñe

Señor porque me as dejado solo?
Aver, Aver, Aver

Dios mio dime porque te la llevaste
She was my love, she was my everything
Dari todo por estar a su lado and to kiss,love,or have her again

Siempre esperare por ti
Aqui en mi otra vida
Guardare tu amor eterno, eterno, eterno

I Can Play Too.

people are funny. this blog was written by becca two days before she was arrested and sent to york on 18 new counts of forgery, larceny, and a whole bundle of other shit. . the grand total of her charges as of friday was 28. wait a few days and ill update. fuckin idiot. shell never learn. but she does it because its her "vice". something "compels" her to do it. similiar to the urge alcoholics get to drink or the need that people who self mutilate have to cut themselves. thats fuckin lame. i know how to play the game now. . point proven.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

i might be getting my life back on track I made up my mind about fixing my life and actually started on the path this time.  I hope that I dont make a wrong turn like I have over and over again in the past months.  I have messed up so many times, I have cut off ties with my family and old friends, lied, cheated and stolen to get what ever I wanted.  I know thats not the way any more.  I set my mind to getting a job and right now I have 4 job opportunities.  I am just gonna take the one that will pay the most with the most hours so I can save up, get a car, go back to school, and move out of my parents house.  I am not going to mess up anymore.  I know that if I try hard my parents who are great people will be there to support me along the way.  Just this morning my dad was proud of me like he has been in the past, he told me that I am a very capable young women that can do anything in the world that I want and put my mind to. † This weekend will be fun, I am going to spend time with family that I havent seen in a while. † I know they all know I am a fuck up, but it will be nice to play and run with all my little cousins like in the old days.  It is a good bye party for one of my cousins.. he is going to make something of his life.. he is leaving for the air force on Nov 1.  I am very proud to have the family I do, I know I can make up for the wrongs I have done, but it will take time.  I have the time.. I have the rest of my life to show my parents how grateful I am for giving me life! ILLEGAL USE OF CREDIT CARDTORRINGTON - Rebecca Todhunter, 25,  70 Scott Drive, was arrested and charged with illegal use of a credit card, 12 counts of third-degree forgery, credit card theft, fraudulent use of an ATM and criminal attempt to commit illegal use of a credit card on Oct. 20 after police investigated a theft of a credit card. No court date or bond information was available on the police report.

Inmate Number:	345064
Inmate Name:	TODHUNTER, REBECCA
Date of Birth:	4/5/1981
Latest Admission Date:	10/20/2006
Current Location:	YORK
Status:	UNSENTENCED
Bond Amount:	10200
Controlling Offense:	FORGERY, THIRD DEGREE BM
Date of Sentence:	Not Applicable
Maximum Sentence:	0 Year(s) 0 Month(s) 0 Day(s)
Maximum Release Date:	Not Applicable
Estimated Release Date:	Not Applicable
Detainer:	NONE

We Miss You Becky. .Come Home Soon!!

I Would Have Died For You.

remember what we had?
remember what we were?
the love that we did share,
i thought it was so pure.
now i know its true,
you tainted my whole life.
with all the things you do,
you said youd be my wife.
everything i said,
right to the very end,
i meant it all completely
and my heart i cannot mend.
you played with my head.
you played with my heart.
those were your intentions.
right from the very start.
to you im nothing more,
then someone to play your game.
when you die alone,
youll have yourself to blame.
i was different.
you know its true.
do you even know,
why you do the things you do?
i sighed for you.
i cried for you.
i lied for you.
i would have died for you.

Scars.

release the tension deep inside.
it all comes out, it cannot hide.
my throbbing veins, they are my guide.
inflict more pain, and my soul died.my scars tell secrets,
my scars tell lies,
my scars tell stories,
my eyes cant hide.
drops of blood, a single stain.
emotions flood, a life to gain.a cut too deep will end it all.
at this point, its not that far a fall.

"Lou"cifer.

i have an amazing girlfriend that i love with all my heart. we have been through so much together in the short time that weve known each other, and i only hope that well go through more and grow closer because of it. weve had our ups and downs, and our really bad rough times but through all that i just fall more in love with her. i hope that we continue to grow with each other and our love never fades. i love you lourdes.

 i meant it all when i said it. but i quickly learned that this girl is a straight up whore. shes fucked half of torrington in the past couple weeks, and shes tried to get with others while she was with me. i want to be completely done with her and all her bullshit but shes holding on to things of mine and trying to make it difficult for me. on top of all that, one of her 4 new boyfriends is going to "shoot" me. so, lesson learned once again. dont give your heart to a girl that claims she is different and unique. youll quickly find out shes probably the biggest whore youve ever met.

My Black Dahlia.

My Black Dahlia

I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see?. It saved me and these tears are deadly.
You feel that? I rip back, every time you tried to steal that. You feel bad? you feel sad? Im sorry,
hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife
it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I
hurt too, remember I loved you!

I've , Lost it all, fell today, Its all the same
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry no

I've , been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry no

I wish I could I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you, And told you that I loved you, every
time I Fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the
thought of you, the pain just grew and grew! How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you,
it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked
up. Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts!

Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.

And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound.

Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest.

And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.

The Victim Becomes The Abuser.

everyone is so dramatic. people constantly play each other and use them for their own benifit. its funny. i just laugh. the best i can do is not get dragged in and become involved myself. . but its a struggle. im tryin to keep my head out so i can still breath through all this bullshit. at this point im just watching everyone get used and taken advantage of and its somewhat humerous to me. maybe that sounds pretty shitty, but you can only tell someone (that doesnt care to hear it) something so many times before you give up. (becca). dont come to me with your bullshit anymore please. you ask me for advice and i give it to you, but you never listen. you fucked up yet again. you gave another thing to someone that doesnt deserve it and wont respect it. in the process of doing that you fucked over another person that was very nice to you. so, the victim becomes the abuser now. you just took on the role of so many other people in your life that you complain about. you took advantage of another human being the way that theyve done to you. does it make you feel good? does it make you feel justified? i hope not. dont ask me for shit.

So Over It Now.

drama is everyones friend. but not mine. there was another girl. she made me mad everytime i saw her and talked to her. she pissed me off all the time. she made me almost puke everytime i hung out with her, because she got to me so bad. i finally told her, not only am i done with you, like i had been for months, but i told her i never wanted to talk to her again. she flipped out. she kept trying, to no avail. i wouldnt let her get back in this time. she found out that i was talking to another girl who she had problems with. she dragged me into them. i tried to let it go, i tried not to do anything about it. she threatened me and everyone around me. im guilty myself, i contributed to it, i called her phone, and i called her work. she never came that day to beat everyones ass like she said she would. she came a few days later with two other people that im sure ive written about before. i wonder why they felt the need to get involved. i wonder how i wronged them so much that they just had to fuck me over. i tried to keep shit from escalating. at first. then i got pissed. this girl wouldnt give me my shit ( one thing she told me she would never try to do to me ). i grabbed her cellphone and went and stood on the property so she could come get it. of course she didnt. i went to give it back and the other girl talked mad shit and decided to jump out the car, come up on the property with me, and hit me in the face a few times. i stayed cool. i didnt do shit. it was only when she wrapped her hands around my neck that i tried to free myself to walk away. she ended up stepping off the curb and falling. i went down with her, because i didnt want her to hit her head on the ground. the whole time the other two in the car were yelling about how i hit her and shit. try again. thats one thing ive never done, and would never do. the neighbor saw everything happen. the cops got called and didnt do shit. later that day we got set up. i knew it would happen. they came for me apparently. not because of the girl in the altercation above, but because of the driver that day. when they came for me i wasnt around. i was on my way to go somewhere. they accidently went after a different person and not me. i got arrested that night. because i didnt see how it was right for everyone to be involved. when i was talking to the cops i saw people that shouldnt have been there and i got a lil pissed. that was my fault. o well. once again i stayed in jail. over a fifty fuckin dollar bond. everyone was there at the police station. including the people that shouldnt have been there. fuck you. and now the people continue to harrass and stalk and just be immature. i called the cops cause im sick of it. that makes me a cop caller i guess. but that was the last resort. id rather call the cops to end the bullshit than have to keep dealing with it. it didnt end anyway, these people are finding other ways to fuck with me. like reporting my cellphone stolen, and prank calling me, and taking my voicemail off. when will you all grow up? i didnt do shit to any of yall. and if you cant be civial then dont get mad that it came to this. you brought it to this. these people will never have any respect from me. theyll never have anything to do with me. cause im not going through it again. its done. this certain girl is now dating her ex that i knew from the begining she still had feelings for. basically she fucked with my head and my heart the whole time, not to mention she was a big waste of time. i dont understand how people can be this way, but im almost over it now. yall do what you want, say what you want, be who you want, and it will all come back to you. cause im noto getting inolved anymore. "ill be there to laugh"- doesnt even apply anymore. cause i just wont be there. i lost all of my belongings, a place to lay my head, my job, "friends", "family", a very  special lil girl, etc. but at least i didnt lose my dignity, my self respect, my heart and my mind. i wont let yall take that from me. in my eyes youre all dead. youre all pieces of shit. and nothing is sacred or whole to you people. everything you say is a lie, youre very manipulative, two faced, abusing pieces of shit and im done.

Bullshit Blog.

theres a certain number i need. it is 7 digits long, and with that number i can accomplish something very important. one certain person has this number, but shes being a fuckin whore about it and she wont give it to me. it pisses me the fuck off. david got kidnapped by T, the big black drug dealer. he fell down some stairs and had a seizure too. i saved his life, but hes not my friend, he just uses me. my brother is a nigger thats a greedy money loving jewbug- he needs to stop hanging out with owen. my phone is broke like a joke cause people hang up on me. i think im drinking tonight cause i have no life and thats what i do. by the way, the only reason i wrote this blog is so that i could get some views for the week cause it makes me happy when people read what i say. and one day everyone should read my two books. one is about my life, and the other will predict the future. get them, read them, love them. i love you all, except for those of you that i dont love. k bye.

Burn, Bitch.

i thought it couldnt get any worse. i thought every that could go wrong already did. i thought that i lost everything i ever had. i was wrong. i lost the rest of my life the other day. upwards of 400 cds-- music, the only thing that meant anything to me. all because of a stupid asshole, that insists on making a "very special person" happy. i guess it wasnt bad enough that most of my shit was taken when she got evicted. i warned her. i specifically said, "your car is going to blow up if you drive it". it did. i win! i love life. and i love my friends.